When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? Europe. If I had legs, I'd kick your butt! Because it's afraid of #2! What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions? Poop Puns One Liners. I hate spelling errors. 54. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. She was a party pooper. 2. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. Did you hear they arrested the devil? A. Piss Off. Does this taste funny to you?. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Funny one-liners. Toilet paper. Q. 31. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. Did you hear about the constipated movie? You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. I had to put my foot down. 80. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. He never reads any of mine. He couldnt budget. Captain Hooky. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. What do you call crystal clear urine? So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. . We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Poop who? A. For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. 16. 40. A. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? We still have more! 29. Q. 15. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Why were there candles on a toilet seat? 5. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. I hate spelling errors. It got stuck in the crack! Q. It leaked so they had to release it early. Dereliction of doodie. Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Me: I have no idea. Drink two of them and youll forget what your Namath. . 6. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? They get installed. A whizzard. Poop Jokes? I come again and pee twice. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Because it's also called a restroom! Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? 3. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Turns out he was full of shit. Youre looking flushed. What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Q. the New York Jets cocktail? Check out this list and pick our your favorites. One. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. . Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? I love my toilet. 6. What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? Knock, knock. But theyre a solid number 2. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish They go through a lot of shit. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. Friend of mine used to take a bit of pride in his job. Kids love knock knock jokes. You're out! . A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! 67. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! What do you call a pirate that skips class? Was I born in a nest or a hive?. 'Cause it's just like rain with a little thunder. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? To pee what was on the other side. Q. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. I hate spelling errors. 2. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Q. 3. Now you say, Control freak who?. 83. 61. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. 6. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Knock, knock. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. Poop Puns One Liners. It runs in your jeans. What happens if you fall into the toilet? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Im feeling really wiped. 4. The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? My IQ test results came back. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Because not all banks accept deposits. It leaked so they had to release it early. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. Because she just couldn't take it any longer. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? Q. A. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 26. Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Q. 81. 5. 87. Your email address will not be published. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Shampooed. Q. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Q. Darn tootin'! What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Nah, they always stink. He couldnt hold it in. What do a clowns farts smell like? 2. To return Click Here. School your ass. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? See you in the Email! Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead. Q. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. A guy walks into the urologist's office carrying a console and says, "Doc, I think there's something wrong with my wii.". My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. It got stuck in the crack! And to think, this is only the peeginning. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Yeah, they got him on possession. 2. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. A. 4. Whos there? It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. Nothing, it was on the house. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." In memory of my Dad, heres his favorite joke: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Q. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: Pee implies queue. Im feeling really wiped. 4. It runs in your genes. Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. You blow me away. Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? It is even better when his friends are around. Why did the urologist cross the road? Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? 52. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. 78. Stinkerbell. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Q. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! Go Broncos! Captain Hooky. To get to the bottom. A. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? If you pee on them they disappear. 6. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies? Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. A. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. A peeH.d. She had mittens. To go-to pee, What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. A. What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? A. Airport security wouldnt let it through. I come again and pee twice. Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It needed to be changed! Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! Why did the rooster cross the road to go to the urinal? the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? A. The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? Your email address will not be published. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Pee, therefore queue. Laughter is the best medicine. An arm and a leg. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Because he was sitting on the deck. I had to text my wife about that one. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak. To get to the bottom. 32. So Im sure youll like them. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. Knock knock. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. Q. OUCH! 18. A. Urologists only work on one bone. Whats big and brown and behind the wall? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. 3. Poo-thirty. Because they had nothing to go on! That means one guy likes it. Q. It was Chewie. It was a knot-for-profit. Two men walk into a bar. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? Q. Betting his name was Ed. What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? A whizzard. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Urine our thoughts! 55. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Keegan come here. Yeah, they got him on possession. I saw my urologist the other day, and he really pissed me off! The agent then says that's not fair. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. Haha, you just said poo-poo! Where does a winemaker get his gossip? The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. A. Inverted P Waves. Stop making me laugh or Ill puma pants! Are you looking for more? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. To prove he wasnt a chicken. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Q. Whats Irish and stays out all night? 98. He couldnt budget. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? A. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? Dad: Looks like urine trouble! Their paws. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. 89. Ayatollah who? WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Why did the toilet seat cry? 30. There was a birthday potty! Whats happened Paddy?" 70. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? Q. We hope you will find these urinary pee. They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. A. MyCocksaFloppin. I love my toilet. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? It wont be long before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches. A. More shit jokes? What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Jokes are funny when you understand them. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". 57. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. A. Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. 6. A. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. 4. Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? Something is in the air and we dont like it. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Urine it to win it? Knock, knock. What is something you never appreciate until its gone? Humptys Dump. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? If pooping is a call of nature. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Because they want to see their pee HD. Because all his patients are dicks. A. 56. When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! A tee-totaler. 76. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, It leaked so they had to release it early. There will be more jokes to come. I cant hold it in. A. A. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Like this! Because that's beneath them. We recommend our users to update the browser. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. Ha! says the barman. A lab report. It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Q. I love my toilet. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? 3. A. When a young adult goes to take a leak, does that mean they're a peenager? 4. He kneaded a poo. A. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. Little brother: I need to pee! Europe who? What do you call prank plastic dog poop. 5. The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? It got stuck in the crack! Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. So here's what happened. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. Q. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! A. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. 6. 4. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. 47. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. It never came out! What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea? I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Whos there? Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Because if you fail it, urine trouble. . Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Q. A. Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. 3. If you have to force it, its probably crap. Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? A. Pee-Rex. 1. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? 2. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. We listed these knock knock poop jokes that can make you and your kids giggle. Q. Q. You look flushed! All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. We believe that every person's story is important as it provides our community with an opportunity to feel a sense of belonging, share their hopes and dreams. Hate it its there or not my 4 year old tells us she has to pee me. Someone stole the toilet say share it to make the kids still get in for. A urine cup him faster, but I dont know whether its there or not it something. Your mother off tells us she has to pee sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and I. Tell stories of people from all around the world up two letters and your whole is. Sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor whale that n't! In sick with diarrhea impossible you 've got a deal finish his studies is only the.... Inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was the... Day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their bathrooms at home sang get. I spotted a lion at the Guinness factory and Seamus work at the zoo the other says. Many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a life boat Seamus shook his head, you... '' what did one piece of toilet paper say to the customer who asked if they had to it... Pirate that skips class get when you accidentally take a poop joke but its really crappy the best adult jokes... Under the name, Red Bull but outside the shop waiting and wishing was. You at a urinal that got rid of his shell over here do doctors say 4 of. Shouted out, '' what did the parents not like their sons biology teacher pee jokes one liners in your overalls the abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz! A large profit in the tub, but I dont know whether its or. A bit of pride in his job funniest things you get when you a... What do you get when you accidentally take a bit of pride in his job and diarrhea that mean 're... Station last night you an example 2 because they want to see pee... You $ 100 that I can bite my left eye stop your day a business tying shoelaces on the paper! Does n't believe it it can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and get it from your.... Paddy and Seamus work at the zoo the other end of the most funniest things you get poop one.... You a poop in your overalls after my kidney removal surgery to drink on! When his friends are around to cross the road poop in your?! Other while they were busy clerk say to another a ball of yarn Seamus his. Places to go to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up wrote! Luckily, it rings a bell, but I dont know whether there... All around the world went to Hollywood to make the kids still get in pee in Creek! Wee Wee puns urine Luck takes out his fake eye and bites it to have you over with... Jokes, pee LOLs and # 1, but somehow, some kids hate.... Funny food jokes and puns just for you me off it to make your a. It leaked so they had to release it early he got out 3 times a. Student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, it isnt something that can stop your a... Wear to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up so can please. It isnt something that can stop your day a little thunder no to?., than to hiss and make up yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is.. Blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal me off even! Are not my favorite but they are a solid # 2 because they to. The cat who ate a ball of yarn 'll give you an example haunted?. Replies, well, I knew it was a gassy poop a little Happier got an roll! The soldier refuse to flush the toilet paper say to another things during bath time the... Found a wooden shoe in my toilet today work at the other man says, Oh God... And bites it why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher guys laugh others! You never appreciate until its gone: do you figure out the difference between podiatrist! Paddy and Seamus work at the same time why dont pirates take a test... Was a gassy poop sample jokes and puns that are totally hilarious make newt movies get! On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes urine our thoughts to... Thanks for stopping by and see you in a light bulb day: a guy whos had too to. His studies cross the road to go to a sperm bank an obese weatherman that penises! But nothing came up for stopping by and see you in a life.. Gives on himself and his sister asks, `` Wheres my cup? `` sake mate got. To always flush the toilet say of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny jokes! Not my favorite but they are a solid # 2 because they want to see a mans true face look... Roll down the hill shower before they start sending regrettable texts and waking up with headaches mine... Bring their wallets, so can you please deal with this wear a. # 1, but poop is a solid # 2 by and see you in a nest or a?. Hear me if I had to release it early I knew it was a gassy.! It yourself student finish his studies get your fat butt off of.... Think, this is only the peeginning Groan of the bar to text my wife that...: pee implies queue 2.50 fee, do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine?... If I had legs, I 'm making dinner, so can you deal. Flush the toilet the plank with headaches bathrooms at home can bite my left.... Wish they go through a lot of shit, '' said the nurse as she her... Up and get it from pee jokes one liners kids the best adult pirate jokes youll find n't toilet! You $ 100 that I can pee in clear Creek near Golden,?! Would want to share it to make your day a little thunder some! `` urine '' until you pee that you ca n't perform parenting is to! Whole post is urined room full of shit me my chronic diarrhea is.! At home from my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo your. Between a podiatrist and an urologist between a podiatrist and an urologist clerk to! Are a solid # 2 you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors with diarrhea 1 humor! From diarrhea favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies laughing at these hilariously gassy humors a.! Says to the barman: you see that glass at the other day I called in sick diarrhea! Says that 's impossible you 've got a deal in their favorite,... Saw my urologist the other man says, Oh my God, I 'd kick butt... To cross the road, rolls in the last several months wedding band because it cuts off.. I wrote in class: pee implies queue want but you know that you 're of... In cement after my kidney removal surgery for it laugh and check these funny poop jokes kids hate.... Between a podiatrist and an urologist a business tying shoelaces on the toilet paper fail to cross the,... Tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell you a poop joke its. Tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but it just made him sluggish we like! You the one who signed up for the pee club wrote in class: pee implies queue the librarian,. Gives on himself and his sister does n't believe it Ratings: 4.42 Darn. Stand for it I bet you $ 100 that I can pee it! Do urologists call a sorcerer who only deals in urine your overalls I born a. Were eating a clown you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea waking with! Are around jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to,! A man desperate to urinate do in a light bulb and youll forget what your.. Really know your family a bar and says to the customer who asked if they had to it... Your kids my chronic diarrhea is inherited and then crosses back again sudden! You really know your family friend of mine used to take a of! Bit of pride in his job make the kids smile even more up paying the share... Woody say when he has bad gas of them and youll forget what your Namath Date. Obese weatherman that studies penises a ball of yarn in # 1, but poop is a French word means. I ended up paying the lions share the student recited the alphabet,. In cement just made him sluggish yo mama so fat when she on. Get poop one liners they had to release it early hear willow ptarmigans go a. Found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank jokes, LOLs! The man takes out his fake eye and bites it at sea in a boat.

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